Denise

Today I came across a journal of mine that I purchased back in my first year of college when I was away at a four year school. I didn't use the journal right when I first bought it but started a few months after. I have written in it sporadically since then, never for a very long stretch (pretty much like four days in a row). I went back and read my entries (a few of which were a bit embarrassing) and the surprising thing was that when I read them I could actually see certain events that happened as though a movie was playing in my head.

I have a hard time remembering things from my past (which is a bit odd for someone my age) and my mother always told me that I should keep a journal to help me remember (oh jeez this is starting to sound similar to the plot of Before I Go to Sleep). Needless to say that once I finished reading the entries (there weren't many at all) that I started an entry for today. I have always had this fantasy that one day my grandchildren or my great-grandchildren would find my journals and read them and get to know who I was (which is funny because if anyone from right now would read them I'd be horrified). I'm sad to say that with the material that I've written in my journal that if my future grandchildren found it they'd be bored with it and think (truthfully) that their grandmother lived a pretty mundane life.

When I was a little girl I used to keep a diary (since I am now an adult I call them journals but back then it was clearly a diary) and of course my older sister used to always try and read it. Then she would proceed to blab to everyone the contents of said diary. After having that happen I was always concerned with privacy in regards to writing things down, that for different periods of time I would just keep my thoughts in my head as I didn't want anyone to get a chance to read them. I am now better at hiding my journal and know what to put in it.

It may be old fashioned at this point (as so many people now document their lives online) but I still like the idea of taking the time during the day to write down what you're feeling and what has happened and getting to go back and read those entries all in one book. Fortunately for me, I no longer have anyone actively trying to read my journal (my sister could care less now), not that anything I put in it is all that interesting.